I am so sick of the weather. My seasonal depression is kicking in. I don't want to get out of bed nor go to work or anywhere for that. I am getting so tired and ready to go to bed at 7:00 each night like I am an 80 year old. I need warmth and sunlight but I still want to stay in the same city, which I know is impossible. But I will keep wishing plus it's almost my bedtime.

It's almost the end of the week and I am still broke.....

*D.... Keep your head up. I bet they see now that they can't survive without you there.

I'm taking a step back.....

Boy am I glad that T's football is over. My weekends are now free. I am going to enjoy this so much. No having to get up at 8 am on Saturday and no having my entire Sunday afternoon taken by games. The things that we do for our kids.....

Milestone

I'm ready now.....

This week flew by and with another year of my life approaching within the next couple of days, has me really thinking about life. Choices that I have made over the years. Some really stupid that I wish I could take back but can't and some really smart ones that I will cherish forever.

My dad always told me to live my days like it's your last and I believe that. I know that he did. But I often wonder if he feared death.....Did he know it was his time... That will be a question in my mind forever that I will think of each and everyday.

I am contemplating whether or not to send a card to the other half of my family for their upcoming milestone. I think my conscience is really fucking with me lately. I guess with all this time on my hands I have nothing else better to do but to think.

About to take a step into something new for me, something permanent, hopefully I won't sink. Naaaaaaaaa I definitely won't, I'm a Champ.


*WG I hope that you are still being a Champ in every aspect. I am still trying, but as we both know that is a work in progress.

Bolthouse

For the past several months I have been addicted to this drink. If you haven't had it, please run to your grocery store or organic food store and pick up a bottle. Just one sip and you will be hooked.

Blue Goodness is my favorite and then Lemonade Mango. It's all natural and it fills you up. I drink so much I think that I will wake up one day and be a blueberry. I wonder if they have a bolthouse anonymous group?????

People

People come into your life for a reason and sometimes seasons, So they say..... I actually believe this. I have known many different people in my life and yes at the time they did serve a purpose. Some I just outgrew or they outgrew me. But at the end of the day I have to say that I am grateful for having them in my life whether it was just for a season or not.

It is Friday and not a day sooner. This temp thing is starting to wear on my nerves. Nothing really on the agenda this weekend but shopping and staying warm cause the cold weather is here.

I am thinking I may have to join a group for people who are addicted to the Syle Network channel. It is on the tv day and night. Everyone at home is starting to get sick of me and my shows. Oh well that's why there are other tv's in the house.

So finally a blog.

I have just really not been feeling this whole blog thing anymore. I have seriously thought about shutting this blog of mine down. I have just not been motivated at all. I have had so much bull shit go on in my life over the past month that I just don't even have anything at all to talk about.

Maybe the motivation will come back....

Fall

One of my favorite times of the year is just around the corner. I love fall I love seeing the leaves change, the holidays. I love being able to wear one of my favorite sweaters that fit me just right. The only thing that I do not like is the inevitable cold ass winter that follows.

My thought for the day....Please try not to hold on to things forever. If you can't work it out then it's time to just call it quits for good. Remember life is a learning lesson.

Watch Your Mouth

Words are a very powerful thing, sometimes even more powerful than actions. Words can cut through someone like a knife and I don't think that people realize that at times. So therefore I think that people should really think before they talk because you can really hurt someone or piss them the fuck off and that's not cool. Because like I always say, "Don't dish it out if you can't handle it" or like my grandmother (god bless her soul) would say "Do onto others as you want them to do onto you".

Quote of the day

"Some people just can't handle the truth"

Vacation here I come....

The count down is on. I only have to get through this work week and I am on vacation. I will be so glad not to walk into this place for a week. I get to sleep in. Not have to wake up with the birds. I know *A will be happy that he doesn't have to get up either.

So we have tentatively booked a 4 day getaway. But the weird thing is is that the kids don't really want to go anywhere. I remember when I was a kid I would be psyched if my mom's said that we were going away. I didn't care where as long as we weren't at home.

Family Reunions and the Beach

We had a family reunion on Saturday, and it was crazy because there had to be about 90+ people there and I knew only about 30. I have got to keep in touch with people.

I am sitting here tired as ever because we spent the entire day yesterday at the beach and didn't reach home until 10pm. I had to drag myself out of the bed to come into work this morning.

My eyes are burning.
My body is begging me to just lay down so that it can rest.
I still have sand in awkward places.
I look like shit..
I am wondering if my feet are going to be able to get me to my car at lunch time.

Note to myself: Next time call out of work.

When I am annoyed or frustrated it is very hard for me to hide it. Most people say that I wear my feelings on my sleeve. I guess they are right. In a way this works to my advantage by people knowing when I am pissed with them. But it works to my disadvantage at times by it being hard to lie to someone and tell them that everything is cool.

Today I have been sitting here at my desk doing absolutely nothing. My throat hurts, I am tired, I think I am really getting sick. This is not a good thing for me. To top it off my co-worker keeps coming into my office telling me how she thinks her cat is dieing because she can't find it. Like i really care to hear that all day long. My suggestion to her was for her to go home and look for her cat.

I just might take tomorrow off and sleep the whole day.

Missed Birthday Party

So what if I didn't go to your kid's birthday party. Get over it. I was invited to bring my child to someone who I occasionally say hello too kids birthday party. By the way my child only met this kid one time. So we didn't go. Well I never knew how bent out of shape someone can get about this. I mean this chick took it to a whole new level. Telling me and another person who didn't go to the party that she was waiting to start the party until we came and her kid was crying cause we didn't come. So i responded by saying that I wouldn't hold up my party for anyone and she could have called if she was so called "waiting for us". I think that some people just love the drama. So anyhow I deliberately say hello to her every time I see her to make her have to say something. It's been over a month now so she needs to get over it.

Fried Dough

We have been on a fried dough kick over the past week. I have made it for the house everyday over the past few days twice a day. Last night I officially ended our fried dough kick. So now we have agreed that we will only have fried dough if we are at a fair or park, etc...

Blogger

I don't know what is going on with blogger, but everytime that I do a new post it never shows up for me on my pc for like a week. But other people are able to see my posts. I am so annoyed. Does this happen to anyone else?

*SOD I would like you to know that I did sign T up for the Raiders last Sat. at Magazine Park. So we are all set. Yes we are with the winners for sure! Hopefully I will see you at one of the games. I am waiting for a new post from you.

*K did you get my message?

It's getting HOT

The temperature is getting hotter by the minute today. They say it will be in the upper 90's today. Boy do I wish that I could be off today. I would take the kids to the beach. This is a perfect beach day. But I guess I will have to make the best of my day by sitting here in this boring office with little work to do.

At lunch I will brave the heat and walk to my car that is parked so far away....LOL....I am off on Friday, but by then the weather man is saying that it will only be in the 70's and a chance of rain. How boring. I am going to be off on a not so nice rainy day. I have been having this itch to go back to FL to see my mother, well to actually surprise her with a visit, but I don't think that will happen because I have absolutely no vacation time left and I need to build up some time for the holiday season. Such is life.

Enjoy your day.

No one said relationships are easy

Why do some stay in a relationship when they know that the other person doesn't feel the same way about them that they feel? This really bothers me, because people will stay with someone who they know doesn't have the same feelings as they have and will continue to be miserable. Some people say that they will stay because of the kids or because of financial reasons. Some maybe scared of the change because they have become so comfortable in their current situation. Is it worth the sacrifice? Is it worth being so miserable everyday? Couples have their ups and downs but if you have been in your down period so long that you can't even remember the last time that you were in your up stage, then it's time to think about you and make those changes, not just talking about them to other people but actually acting on things.

If you are that miserable then you must do something to change it and not making excuses or saying things such as "if I was .....I would have been left". Most people get tired of hearing the same ol same. There is only so much someone can take.