Various

When you spend years not being able to be yourself around certain people and then you finally get the courage not to give a fuck about what people think it's amazing how people can't handle it.

I still can't understand how a grown man who has a good job can continue to live in his mother's house.

A lot is changing in my personal life. I am looking forward to it. But I am also nervous. I don't like when things don't go good.

I have lived in this city most of my life and I absolutely hate it.

There are some people who absolutely disgust me. I just want to throw up each and every time I am around them.

Winter is coming and I am not looking forward to driving in the snow. It's pretty to look at but horrible to drive in especially when you have a car and not a truck.

I miss having a truck.

Siblings can really get on your nerves at times. Especially mine. It sucks being the oldest.

I am so ready for this change and nothing anyone says or does can make me think or feel differently.

I am a very sensitive person and I keep my guard up to protect my feelings.

I wish that texting was never invented. It's very impersonal, might as well be talking over instant message.

I like hugs.

I want to go on a cruise sometime next year.

I live each day like it's my last, tomorrow is not promised.

Time for a break

Saturdays

Love me some Saturdays.
No work, nothing to stress me. 
I can sleep a little later than I usually do.
Cartoons on for the kids.
I get to clean my house. 
Talk to friends and Family.
I can even take a nap during the day.
Surf the internet as many times as I want freely.
Play Stevie Wonder while I am cleaning my house.
Wear lounging clothes.  
Lunch dates with my friends.
Drinks in the evenings with friends.
Shopping in the stores.


Quote of the day:  You never forget your first. 

Drake ft. Lil Wayne - The Real Her

Loving this new song from Drake

Drake - Marvins Room (Official Video)

What to do.

Less than two weeks away from my birthday and I am feeling old as hell. I made plans with 2different friends who want to go out for drinks the night before, since I have plans already on the actual day. Problem is I don't really want to go with one so I have to figure out a way to get out of it without hurting anyone's feelings.

Thought of the day:  This "little" waiting game is getting really old!

DAMN!!!!

I save most if not all emails that mean or meant anything to me. Not sure why, maybe to sometime go back and look at what someone wrote to me or to see how foolish I have sounded in an email that I may have sent to someone.

Today I went back and read an email that me and a friend of mine had went back and forth with and I was a little embarrassed of things I wrote and how angry I sounded in the emails. Of course probably at the time I didn't think anything I said was wrong. But now a year later I know that what I said wasn't nice and was completely out of my character.

So if anyone who reads this blog and personally knows me and I have said anything in the past to upset or offend them I am sorry.

Trying to understand

Things that I am still trying to understand

Pay a bill. (oh hell no) I am to independent no thank you....LOL

Why my sister will choose a man based on his car and how he dresses?

Why people think I speak Spanish at work?

Rude ass young people between the age of  (22-26)

Co-workers not having any manners. Don't just but into my conversation cause I will check you on it.

Don't call me and not have anything to say otherwise we will be sitting in silence. LOL 

Why people can't just come out and say what they want rather than beat around the bush.

Why do peps confide in me about something and then change their story?

Things

• I have to stop setting expectations for people.

• I will say this over and over. When someone shows you who they are believe them.

• Stop rushing everything and take a back seat and wait to see what happens.

• Try to put my guard down just a little.

• Walk away and never look back.

• Stop trying to protect everyone's feelings all the time.

• Just do me since tomorrow is not promised.

• If I am not happy then no one is happy.

• Stick to my diet. 

• Keep in touch with old friends.

• Stop worrying so much about things I have no control over.

• Fall back regarding certain people.

• Stop wondering what is it about me that draws people to me.... LOL

• Tell my friends and sisters I am no longer their private investigator.

• I need to be my own investigator on things don't have time for others. LOL  

Kwame - Only You - Throwback Jam of the Day

This was my song back in the day....LOL

Mental Health Day

Today I took a well needed well deserved day off. Oh did I have so many things planned out in my mind that I would get done around the house since I would be alone.

Well that didn't happen...the minute I dropped off Angie and made a stop at BK I walked back into the house, put on a show and it was game over for me. I watched a lot of talk shows relaxed and relaxed some more. Finally got up to wash clothes and drop something off at the school. Only to come back home and lay down for 2.2 more seconds and then jump up do a quick cleaning of the living room and leave back out to go pick up the kids.

So much for a productive day but in the end it was all worth me staying home and just being in chill mode.

Question of the day: Can you fall in love with someone's words but not the actual person?

Method Man feat Mary J Blige - All I Need uncut

I love this song

Method Man, D'Angelo - Break Ups 2 Make Ups

This and That

I have tints on my car. I wouldn't have it any other way. The front windows are as dark as I could get them for the legal limit. The back are just about limousine tint dark. I love it because nothing annoys me more when people can see right in my car or who's in my car.

When I am in someone's car that doesn't have tints I feel as if I am in a fish bowl. LOL. NO I don't have anything to hide but I think it's a good look on your car no matter what type of car you have to get tints and make sure it's a good job not just someone on the street putting them on. LOL

Tomorrow is Friday and I am so glad. I am still trying to figure out what I am doing for my birthday. I can't wait.

This is a busy month for me. Each weekend I have something going on. The next two weekends I will be making a trip first to upstate NY and then to the City the following weekend. When will I get a weekend to just chill. I am not complaining either because at least I will have something to do.

I am on the look out for a perfect pair of boots for the fall. I have saw tons but still haven't found "That One"

Beyoncé - Video Phone ft. Lady Gaga

Uggh!

Today I woke up in a bad mood. It annoys me when people clearly know you are sleep but are so rude. They play music loud walk around flicking on lights having absolutely no consideration.

I also don't want to go to work and today I would have called out if it weren't for me needing to collect fundraiser money for Anthony's school fundraiser that is due to the school tomorrow.

Thank god this is going to be a long weekend and we have Monday off!

I sure hope work goes better than my morning has started off.

Drake - Headlines (Official Video)

HD Damian Marley - Road To Zion ft. Nas Official Video Promo Only

Sleep

I am sleep deprived. I just can't sleep lately... Maybe to much on my mind. To much on my plate. To many decisions to make or not make...Not getting enough sleep is effecting my overall self.  I can barely concentrate at work.....I am really thinking of taking a day off this week to try to catch up on my rest.

Quote of the day: Don't dwell on the past just move towards the future.

KANYE WEST - DEVIL IN A NEW DRESS FEAT. RICK ROSS (NEW 2010)