Email

I received this in an email from my cousin today and I would like to share it.

  FOR COLORED GIRLS...

When I first heard of the movie "For Colored Girls" I got so
excited. I had the idea of getting as many women together that I
could think of to go see this movie. I had visions of group
discussions and moments shared with one another that would lead
to healing and growth; I guess I kind of imagined a Women's
Empowerment Conference type of setting.

Well after I shared my idea with a few women, reality set in and
I realized that so many of us wouldn't be willing to participate
for various reasons: You don't like me, you don't care for
somebody I might invite, you only hang out with certain people,
you don't understand the big deal about Tyler Perry making yet
another movie about black people and our issues for all the
world to see, you don't like crowds, so n so is too ghetto, such
and such is too uppity etc... It has ALWAYS amazed me that we as
black women are each others biggest critics. We are the quickest
to bring each other down, find each others faults and nit pick
at a sister until she has nothing left, nothing left to give and
then we step over her and call her worthless. We take the
prettiest women and tear them down for thinking "they are cute"
but turn around and dog the average sista because "she know she
should take better care of herself than that - can't believe she
got a man!" We call strong women female dogs and accuse weaker women of riding somebody else's coat
tails. We tell a big sista to put down her burger and turn
around and criticize a skinny woman for not picking one up. We
ride the loud mouth woman for "talking to darn much" and
likewise torment the quiet woman for "Being too quiet and
needing to take up for herself" Sad part is we don't
discriminate, we talk about everybody!!!

  I've watched women dog out everybody from Oprah for catering to
white people and Halle Berry for not being able to keep a man to
young Willow Smith for acting to darn grown in her recent video.
All of these females are successful and there is something about
each one of them to be proud of but a lot of us can't seem to
see that. I have to wonder since we all share a common thread
(whether we want to admit it or not) is there something about
ourselves that we don't like, what has happened to us that we
cannot seem to get along. Why is that we fight amongst
ourselves, backstab & steal each others men (only to find out we
should have left him where we found him). We cannot seem to be
unified to support and stick up for one another. Everybody seems
to be out for themselves while other groups unite against us but
nobody else has to bring us down because we trample on the
spirits of each other daily.

Even if you live in a mini mansion, drive a luxury car, have
good credit, rich handsome husband etc, this does not mean that
should look down your nose at the woman with 4 kids, no husband,
living in income based housing struggling to keep her lights on.
We ALWAYS think the grass is greener on the other side, I had a
woman who's child father is MIA tell me that I should never
complain because I receive a decent amount of child support and
I laughed and let her know that I would gladly give every dime
back if he would come relieve some of this overwhelming pressure
of feeling inadequate as a parent. If I could get just one full
night of sleep or not always be on the verge of losing my job
because I'm the one that has to call off or leave work for one
reason or another to accommodate my child - yeah he could
DEFINITELY have his money if I could have some peace! Money
alone doesn't make you happy (not true happiness), good credit
doesn't keep you satisfied, beauty doesn't make you any less insecure, fame doesn't make you less vulnerable or
cause you to be a good judge of character and being stuck up and
mean doesn't keep you warm at night or prevent you from being lonely.

  You don't know how the sista sitting right next to could have
carefully put on her make up this morning to hide the beating
from last night. The teacher you handed your child over to this
morning could have sent her children off to school from a dark
house with empty bellies. The teller you just got rude with at
the bank could know that today is her last day on her job and
have no idea how she is going to survive past next weekend. The
sista at the office that appears so busy could be typing her
goodbyes to all the people that she loves because she plans to
blow her brains out tonight after she tucks her babies into bed.
The woman you pass in the hallway could be on her way to have an
abortion because she fears what others might think or how the
woman that sent you this e-mail may drink an over abundance of
alcohol every night to mask the nightmares of an abusive childhood.

Ladies we HAVE TO DO BETTER!!! I'm not suggesting that we all
like each other and be phony, but I am asking that we all try to
respect each other. You HAVE NO IDEA what the next woman is
going through, you don't know what past or current hurt and
pains have shaped her into who she is today. We spend so much
time trying to be as strong and hard as we are expected to be
that we end up cracking from the inside out piece by piece. If
we would spend 1/3 of the time we spend tearing each other down
to build someone up, encourage someone, show someone some love,
we could truly make a difference and save someone's life. PLEASE
don't be the straw that breaks another woman's back. Believe me
when I tell you that there is a woman out there that needs your
smile, your hug, your support, your prayer.

  I hope that you read this and get something out of it other than
a laugh and that you pass this on to as many women as you can to
let someone know that you believe they are somebody special and
that if need be you are available to listen. Nothing bad is
going to happen if you don't forward this e-mail but I'd like to
think that something positive will happen if you choose to pass
it along. May favor be extended to each and every one of your
lives, keep your head up and know that someone somewhere cares!!!

  Thank you !